Suffering and Love

There was something said in church Sunday that really struck me to the core.  That it was never said that we would be without pain and suffering, only that we would never be without love.  God loved us so much that he sent Jesus to suffer along with us.  Pure unending love.

So I thought about that in regards to my own life and found comfort in that line of reasoning.  We all suffer and have pain, some people more than others.  But we are never without love, whether it be our spouses, our friends, our families, or God.  Through that love, we can push on.

This weekend, I saw that true love that Jesus showed us in Kevin.  He suffered for the sake of giving me some alone time, by walking over to the neighbors with Lincoln and hung out with them.  I am not saying spending time with the neighbors is suffering in anyway.  They are amazing, wonderful people, but that he gave up the comfort of his home (well as comfortable as it can be considering his condition) to give me time alone at home.  Then Saturday night he went with his brother and his brother’s girlfriend to a bar to watch UFC.  Again, spending time with his brother and his brother’s girlfriend is not suffering, but sitting on a hard wood stool for 3 hrs is, especially when you have RSD.  Kevin really paid the price for all of that on Sunday.  He was miserable.  Kills me to see him like that and not be able to do anything.

Anyway, the sermon at church was very timely for me about suffering and love, because I needed a smack in the face.  Saturday night, the ugly green monster came out of me.  I was home with Lincoln while Kevin was out watching UFC.  I love UFC, it was always something Kevin and I watched together.  And I am sitting there feeling sorry for myself and jealous that I didn’t get to go too.  Then getting upset knowing that Kevin would wear himself out and be in so much pain the next day.  Wishing Kevin could do more things with me.  Being selfish, wanting Kevin to myself.  Not wanting him to wear himself out with everyone else.  Then I got upset with myself for thinking that way at all.  Just a vicious circle.

So hearing those words in church made me realize some things in myself and in my life.  I am not lacking in love and no matter what happens in my life, love is always there.  What a comforting thought.  Makes me smile.