Emotional Intelligence

My company has these “lunch and learn” things that are provided by ComPsych Guidance Resources.  Yesterday I attended one on Emotional Intelligence.  The “target” audience was anyone interested in improving self-awareness, emotional control and ability to relate to others.  Well I knew I needed help in the emotional control department so I decided to attend.  Found out I need help in all the areas.  I am not at the top of the curve on emotional intelligence, but I am not at the bottom either.  I am kind of in the middle.  

Someone with high emotional intelligence is self aware and self confident.  Has self control, adaptable to change, achievement oriented, optimistic.  Someone with emotional intelligence is empathic, can manage conflicts is influential and inspirational.  Can collaborate and is concerned with developing others. 

One of the components of self awareness is being emotionally transparent.  I have always prided myself on being transparent, “what you see is what you get”.  But to me that “what you see is what you get” meant I had a cop out to never improve myself.  We are all works in progress.  And just when you think you got it all together, something comes your way that changes up your game plan.  I believe those things that come our way to change our “game plan” are there for a reason, to show us that we didn’t have it all together like we thought we did and we need to work on ourselves.  How well we adapt to those changes shows how emotionally intelligent we are.

This “lunch and learn” was a very timely one for me.  It is all stuff I have heard before, but hearing it in a different form, really opened my eyes to all the areas I need improvement.  Like I said, I always knew I had issues with emotional control.  I tend to fly off the handle instead of getting my emotions in check first.  But emotional control is just a small fraction of emotional intelligence.  Kevin’s RSD really brings into light where I am lacking in emotional intelligence.

Our lives were turned upside down September 2009 with Kevin’s RSD.  And I didn’t handle the life changes very well.  I was angry, feeling sorry for myself.  Thinking only of myself and how Kevin’s RSD was affecting me, everything that I had to do or couldn’t do, all the added responsibility on my plate, financially and personally.  I was lacking the empathy Kevin needed.  I needed to walk in his shoes.  I needed to put myself in his position.  Once I started doing that I started to adapt to the life changes, I became more optimistic and was managing conflicts better.  Oh sure I slip (and slip often), but I am definitely a more self aware person than I was a year ago.  I am in a better place in my heart and in my head.  I realize what is most important in life.  A year ago, I would have thought I was conceding and needed to be more assertive.  But I realize now for the good of myself and my family and Kevin, I needed to get my emotions in check.  I needed to be more empathic.  I needed to be more optimistic.

I want my emotional intelligence to improve.  I want to be influential and inspirational to my son Lincoln.  I want him to grow up to have a high Emotional-Intelligence Quotient.